Inexplicable

6/19/2017

The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I have a memory that is almost like a dream: the yellow leaves from Mima's mulberry tree are floating down from the sky like giant snowflakes... Mima is singing something in Spanish. There are more songs living inside her than there are leaves on her tree.

Inexplicable. What is it about this word? Is it the sound? Is it the elusive idea? I’m not sure. Whatever the reason, I know that I am fascinated with this word, this concept. Inexplicable Logic characterizes both the story's thematic thread and the elegance of Sáenz's poetic prose.

Its senior year for Salvador: A time for endings. A time for beginnings. Salvie lives within embrace of the close-knit Mexican-American family of his adopted father Vicente. An artist by profession, Vincente is the father every kid dreams of. This gay man deeply loves Sal and is both protective, yet willing to allow his son to explore and learn about life. Sal begins to question his existence and his place in the world. "There didn't seem to be any logic behind who we turned out to be. None at all." During his final year of high school Sal discovers that his father has put his desires on hold, determined to place first the needs of his adopted son.

Sal has two friends who figure predominantly in his life: Samantha (Sam) and Fito. The backgrounds for both of these teens contrast sharply with the warm and stable home life Sal knows. He sees the pain which his friends constantly experience and reflects "I guess life hurts everybody. I didn't understand the logic of this thing we call living. Maybe I wasn't supposed to."
Both Sam and Fito cope with emotional abandonment and rejection. All three friends must come to terms with complicated and conflicting emotions with respect to adults in their lives. "just because my love isn't perfect doesn't mean i don't love you"
The specter of death permeates each of their young lives. Each experiences loss and learns what it is to grieve.
"Life had its seasons, and the season of letting go would always come, but there was something very beautiful in that, in the letting go."

The story opening makes it clear that the act of remembering is an essential component of identity. “We are what we remember.”
“I had a picture of my dad teaching me how to tie a tie, taken the morning before my First Communion…I had a picture of Mima holding me in her arms when I was four. She had all this love in her eyes, and I swear I could drown in all that love.”

The endearing appellation “Oh mijito” and other Spanish phrases radiate family warmth and connection. From the fresh tortillas slathered with butter to the kitchen filled with traditional tamale-making, readers feel a strong sense of home and family.
A story of beginnings and endings, life and death, confliction and resolution, faith and doubt; Saenz has created a tale of “Life (that) had a logic all its own."

Gracias Benjamin Alire Sáenz, for this luminous literary gift.